AIDS Does Not Mean Having Casual Sex And Promiscuity

At the beginning, I thought that I coughed for months and got eczema because of my lack of exercise. I went for practitioner of Chinese medicine and Western medicine respectively but was still not be fully recovered. I was very upset. My friend hinted that I should do a HIV test. I told myself to expect the worst result, but I could not hold my panic when I was informed being positive.
I have a good relationship with my family, but they do not know that I am a homosexual. I do not plan to tell them the truth. I was very unhappy that the doctor asked if I had a history of practicing casual sex and promiscuity. Can you say that I deserve this illness? At that time, I infected pneumonia and had to stay at hospital. My body was getting thinner quickly and exhausted.
My job industry was quite sensitive towards HIV/AIDS. When my boss came to visit me at hospital, I felt that he had suspected my HIV status. I was scared and resigned. I changed to do a night shift job. One night, I suffered a stroke which left me partly paralyzed. I stayed at hospital more than a month. I was very scared and upset. I did not have much savings and worried about my financial situation. I always felt that the practitioners looked at me through prejudice and bias, which caused me always crying with emotion.
The stroke affected my legs movement. I was referred to SAC Centre and took the physiotherapy treatment over a year. I did exercise hard to recover my pain. I participated the activities at Centre and knew some new friends. My heart released gradually and tried not get into a dead end. Two of my closed friends know my HIV status. Their accompanying and support allow me to unburden my grievances and not feeling too lonely. Currently, I do not feel so much pressure and somehow understand my future development, though I still keep my secret of infecting AIDS from my family which makes me uneasy.

Ninja

Men Only Weep When Deeply Grieved

When I was younger, I never used condoms when having casual sex. I found out I am HIV positive when I went to government clinics treating my sexual transmitted disease. I was greatly shocked and felt the world collapsed on me. I did not know what to do but only thought of how to die. I neither cried on anyone’s shoulder, nor anyone could have straightened me out. I dared not tell my family, friends and colleagues about it as I knew that I would be excluded then. Doctor required me to attend the next consultation but I rejected. I did not mind as I thought I am going to die anyway. Since then, SAC nurse contacted me but I never took a look of them. Sometimes, I even treated them rudely.
Several years later, I was suddenly experiencing short of breath and felt dizzy. Nurse Ko, the SAC nurse, accompanied me to the hospital. I was critically ill and my sister was informed of my HIV status by the doctor. She was very concerned about me. Her comfort and care had driven me to keep up my treatment.
A lot of illusion occurred at the beginning of my treatment. Without any reason, I always turned on the television and radio loudly and wandered at home. I could not sleep and always had bad temper. But my sister and Nurse Ko never gave up to take care of me. I know that they had such hard time. I once forgot to take medicine on time and wandered on the street, fortunately Nurse Ko found me and took me home. Relied on her endless remind and care, my leg movement has totally recovered now.
I always wanted to be the number one and feel that men only weep when deeply grieved. Facing my HIV infection, I could not help to shed tears. Right now, I just want to tell people: Don’t reject treatment! Practice Safer Sex and always use Condoms!

MM

Farewell To My Bottles Of Liquid Medicine

Hello, everybody! I am an AIDS infector, thirteen years old. I love blue colour. My hobby is drawing. My ideal is to become a painter. Also, I like swimming, playing badminton and soccer. I am short, thin and weak, but I have a clever mind.
When I was one year old, my mother was infected with HIV unfortunately. Death took her life quickly soon after. HIV/AIDS is detestable like a terrible para-site. After sucking my mother’s blood, it pounced upon me and tried to stick its sharp poisoned teeth into my body. I, too, tested positive for the virus and was sent to Mary Hospital for treatment. In a very long time I can only rely on medication to control my illness.
When I was three, my father took me to Kunming, capital of Yunnan province in China. From then on, I started　my new life there. Although I live in China with my dad, I need to continue my treatment in Hong Kong. Since then, I received endless support from staff of SAC. They helped me and other children living with AIDS.
When I went to the clinic, they came to see me!
When I was sick, they cared about me!
When I was unhappy, they accompanied me!
When I was boring, they played with me!
When I had difficulties, they helped me!
They took every care of me, especially the nurse Ms.Yim. She greeted me every hour, everyday. I am very grateful to her for her care and help. They also specially raised some special funding for me to support my traveling and living expenses when my dad and I are in Hong Kong.
When I was three and a half years old, I went to kindergarten. Every kid liked to play with me. I spent a happy childhood there. When I was six and a half year old, I went to study primary one. The living in primary school seemed to draw a starting line for me. Going to Hong Kong for treatment became an indispensable common routine in my life.
During the primary one to primary three, my study was worst and I always received the lowest ranking in school. My school result became worse and worse. Later on, I changed to another school and my ranking improved a little.
Every time when I came to Hong Kong, I was not obvious by carrying a small bag. However, when I came back to Kunming, my luggage became double and was fully packed with my bottles of medicine. I thought my father’s life is shortened by helping me to carry the luggage day after day, year after year in all these years.
When I came for treatment early this year, I was told to take pills instead of liquid medicine. Oh! That means I do not have to carry a heavy luggage full of bottles anymore. My luggage is no heavier! I was so happy to be crazy! I want to thank Ms Yim and all SAC staff once again. It’s their sweat and painstaking effort that make me standing here today. I would like to thank Dr. Chiu at Mary Hospital as well. I will never forget your care and support!

With Best wishes,

R

Death Is No Solution

One night about a year ago, I sat on the edge of balcony window, swinging one leg outside of the window, decided to commit suicide. I could not believe that I was discovered to have lymphomas when I went to the hospital for a stomach pain. After the surgery, the doctor informed me that I am infected with HIV/AIDS. I did not believe the facts and wished to die by jumping down from my apartment. “If this does not cause me death, but just makes my legs or arms broken, what can I do?”, when I thought that my body would be badly mutilated……Don’t laugh at me. I am an aestheticism. I wish I can die perfectly.
Living with confusion and frustration, I started the HIV/AIDS treatment in Kowloon Bay clinic after leaving the hospital. Their social workers transferred my case to SAC Centre. At the beginning, in fear of disease infection in the society, I stayed at home mostly. Ms Yim, SAC nurse, frequently visited me. She taught me the knowledge of HIV/AIDS and the information of medicine for the treatment.
I am not a highly educated person. My life relies on hard labour working. Because of my illness, I become jobless and relied by social security assistance. I am the youngest sibling in my family, having one brother and one sister. I requested the doctor tell them I have AIDS. Fortunately, they do not against me but greatly support and take care of me. Especially my sister, she always encourages and visits me. Her feeling is consoled by nurse as well. My sister’s anxiety is much relieved after she receives SAC Centre service and learns the knowledge of HIV/AIDS. The only thing I am unhappy is my most trusted friend left me after he knew I have HIV. He did not even give me a call. But I do not blame him.
After taking one year of chemo-treatment, my health as well as my mood improve a lot. Sometimes, I work as a volunteer in SAC Centre. Currently, I start the body training program and always go visit my sister. I wish that I can re-integrate the society as soon as possible.

Ah Si

Put Exercise Into Life

disease, I deeply realize the importance of it. However, I don’t think people know how to stay healthy. I believe that the majority just notice the importance but don’t know how and why we should keep good health.
Since I joined the “SAC Exercise Group”, I have deeply experienced the benefits of exercise and gained a lot. Although a certain degree of muscle soreness is inevitable during exercise, I feel so relaxed afterwards and become more energetic to face new challenges. Recently, physiotherapist has introduced a new element – yoga stretch, which is welcomed by the participants. It not only increases the aesthetic movement, but also enhances our interest. Doing stretching exercise now becomes the habit of most participants and being a part of our daily lives, just like eating and clothing.

Exercise is so good, let’s come and join us!

8 Years – So Close ..... So Far

In 2000, my health condition was so worse and I had been living in hospital for more than 3 months. The disease made me so painful that I had ever thought of committing suicide. Indeed I understand everyone will die once in a lifetime, but I would prefer to die naturally. With this thinking, I gave up the thought of suicide. However, my health was very poor that my mother had to take care of my daily living. Although I knew that my mother would not be infected by the virus through the daily contacts, I still worried and felt uneasy. Sometimes, I would have emotional outburst, which made us feel sad. Fortunately, my mother kept on taking care of me whole-heartedly.
My life had changed after joining SAC Centre through Nurse Yim. I started regular physiotherapy service for physical training. I also joined the centre activities, such as BBQ and party, which made me regain the happiness. With the guidance of the social worker, I had learnt how to use internet and utilize the searching tool to explore many interesting and updated information from the web. My social life has been expanded a lot through participating in different activities and I became much happier.
As time goes by, I have been growing up a lot, both physically and psychologically, for the past 8 years. I learn about what is HIV/AIDS and I accept myself as a person with chronic disease. I have to take proper medication and undergo rehabilitation exercise regularly. Now, I can even live independently and take care of myself. In order to prevent myself from depression again, I have learnt how to keep calm while facing problems. I always remind myself by saying “Just Try My Best”. During these 8 years, SAC Centre had been relocated with personnel changes. I still take the regular physiotherapy treatment service, and sometimes join the outdoor activities, birthday and festival parties to have fun with other members.
Although I am still worrying about the problems I need to face in the future, I believe
I could overcome them with my faith. All in all, I hope all people should love themselves and prevent the spreading of HIV/AIDS with safer sex!

Let Me Have A Sweet Dream

As a person, I am relatively shy. In the past, I just dropped in to the SAC Centre occasionally because I was scared of mixing with strangers.
Since 2007, I have been getting on well with other members in SAC Centre. As long as I have had emotional problems or headache, I always share my feelings with them and the SAC staff. I have found that my stress and pain are relieved after the sharing. In addition, I have learnt lots of health tips from the workers and the members in SAC Centre. Every week, I enjoy the internet service, badminton group, dance class, stretching exercise and health workshop held there. Whenever SAC Centre has organized activities such as celebration party for Mid-Autumn Festival, Christmas Party and birthday party, etc, I volunteer to give a helping hand in the preparation work.
At present, I am fond of all services provided by SAC Centre. Every time I return home from SAC Centre, I can have a sweet dream.

The Last Four Years

I joined the SAC Centre in 2003 through referral from Nurse Chung. At the beginning, I was not willing to open up myself. I got to know nurse Lau at first and she is a very considerate and caring person. She always consoled me on my health and provided advice on my living conditions. Time went by and I got to know many good friends there. I felt my life had broadened immensely and my social life expanded.
A glowing angel Nurse May Ko appeared when I developed severe depression in 2005. She is an extremely kind-hearted person and she treated me like a family member. She has saved me by pulling me out from my dark valley. With her full support, I have regained my confidence and now I am a much happier person. I wish to give my heartfelt thanks to the SAC Center.